Once upon a time in the projects... pjs projects low-rent higrise, y'all. Pjs oh, yeah. Projects livin' in the pjs holdin' down a cardboard condo homeboy in a memade bungalow in the middle at the end ya ya ya ya, yaa ya livin' in the pjs captioning made possible by touchstone television and fox broadcasting good mornin', boys. Y'all enjoying your martin luther king day? It's martin luther king day? I thought it was dney king day. What the hell-- rodneying day?! Rodneying don't deserve no damn holiday! He's nothin' like dr. King! Dr. King wanted freedom! But he was hassled by the police, roughed up, and put in jail! You mean like rodney king? No, not like rodney king! N't you know that dr. King was so revered that people rioted becse of what happened to him? Yeah. Like rodney king. No, not like rodney king! Dr. Kingarched in the face of oppression! He wouldn't let the white man keep h down! Was he on pcp, too? Stop your foin'. I know what I'll do. I'm gonna make it my mission to teach you kids everhing I know about dr. King, because his lega is something to be taken seriously antreated with dignity! [Toot] Food's ready, everybody! I made a special pie for the occasion. It's W.E.B. Du boysenberry! I thought we could eat it while we watch dr. King's speech on television. Ke room for bebe's dr. Martin luther king jr. Jell-o jiggler! Ha ha ha! [Cheering] Do me a favor, honey. Move that ratty purple mess outta the way. All right, everybody! Dig in! Aah! Calm down, now! Non-violence! Non-violence! Let's be civil right now! Oh! Tv announcer: What you just heard was dr. Martin luther king's historic have a dream speech. Dr. King's words ring as true now as they did that htoric day, so rember, it's up to all of us to ensure at the progress never ends. And now, sy tuned for a special encore presentation of mother, juggs, and speed. Man, super, you were right! He had a way with words! He's even better than master p! Would you like to lear some more about him? Both: Yeah! Tell us! Yeah! All right, then. I'll teach you you see, kids, dr. King said it was important to keep your dreams alive! You kids do have dreams, don't you? I wanna be a pro basketball player. Now, that's how you eam yourself out of the ghetto! Now let's hear it from those who have achieved their dreams. Wh, am I the only one? Well... I used to have sort of a little dream. I--I thought it would be fun to be a hair dresser. Hair dresser, nothin'! You used to always say you wanted to have a beauty parlor just like the one our mama went to! Bebe, I think i can tell this. Oh, I'm sorry, girl. Go ahead on. Go ahead. Well, anyway, mama-- not just mama! We liked goin' there, too! 'Cause it was a place where all the women would gather and tell stories d gossip! Of course--ha-- mama was the worst! She'd talk and talk and talk, and nobody could get a word in edgese! Haremember that? You sure it was mama she was all the way live! Come to think of it, having a beauty parlor was my dream, too. Wait. Um... yeah, yeah. That was my dream, too! Muriel, I never knew you d that dream. Well, it doesn't matter. It's a stupid dream, really. It'll never come true. Muriel, dot ever call your dream stupid-- no matter how stupid it is! Hey, everybody who wants some huey P. Fig newtons? [Commotion] How could I not know muriel had a dream? It's my duty as a husnd to know everything about her. Well, I'm gonna make her eam come true in time for her birthday. Whenever the hell that is. Oh...oh...oh! Thurgood, I don't want to go down to the boiler room. It's dark and it's damp and it's musty! And it's all yours! Ohh! A beauty shop? For me? Thurgood, you shouldn't have done this! That's exactly what e department of building and safety said! I wouldn't snd where that support pillar used to be. Now wait till you see the best part! Thurgood, that's yo chair! That's right. For years, it helped me to relax. And now it can help you to relax, blow dry, color, and style! Observe. Ha ha ha. What do you think? This is overwhelming. Do you think I'm really qualified to run a beauty shop? Muriel, you can do anything you want if you put yo mind to it. I mean, look at me. That man from the ci told me at least 10 times couldn't remove that support pillar. But I did it! Pfft! You get some in your mouth, t? Oh, what am I saying? Of course I wanna this! All my le, I've wanted something of my very own... something I can say is just for muriel! Hey, hey! Bebe's in the house! Girl, I had to come down just as soon as I heard about it! Heard about it? I just heard about it. Oh, honey, it's my business to know everybody else's business! Oh, yeah! You and i are gonna have so much fun what? Workin' side by side! Oh, well, you do want me to work with you, right? Well, uh--uh--uh-- of course I do! But there'only one chair. Oh, honey, bebe got that covered. Jimmy! [Straining] Coming, sweetness. Look at that, muel. Your business is already expanding. Hey, now can knock down that retaining wall. Th is gonna be great, honey! Just like when we were kids! Yeah. Ha ha. Just le when we were kids. Ha ha. Welcome, everye, to muriel's beauty shop! Or as we like to call it-- dream weavers. Ha ha ha ha! You know, because it was her dream and we useeaves! Ha ha. Yeah. Thank you, charlie callas! [Chaie callas noises] Hhuhh-hhuhh! Woof-woof! [Cheering] Well, now that you got your dream, muriel, I'm gonna go liveut mine-- eatin' beef-a-roni in my drawers. Have fun, baby. [Music plays] Now, mr.Anchez, would you like a haircut? No. I'd like them all cut. Hah hah hah hah! Mm-hmm. So...what was all that noise on the third floor last night? E of the tenants was having a problem. I'm not at liberty toalk about it. Aww... muriel, please! U talkin' about that patterson boy in 3-A. He's a born thief! He got so much stuff in his apartment, last night, people looted him! Bebe, he's just a child! Yeah. Ha. But he's been tried as an adult! Ha ha ha ha! Ighs] Time to celebrate in style! Who wants some champale? It's pink, rit, jimmy? That's the color on the box. Ha. This calls for the good plastic! Not those indian casino cs. Mm-hmm. Ahem. Thanks for helpi me out at the shop, bebe. I probably won't need yourelp tomorrow. I only have 2 appointments scheduled. Really? I'm booked solid! Booked solid? Yeah! The phone's been ringing f the hook! We had to refer a couple of them over to you! Isn't that great, muriel? You got more customers than bebe can handle. Great. Pass the box, ease. Tell me somethin' good tell me that you like it girl, you ain't got nothin' too? No. Huh. Well, now you do! Here! Mentl kings. In the crush-proof box. Go ahead on! [Sighs] Oh! Hello, mrs. Avery! Pull up a chair. Why, thank you, muriel. This'll be a nice place to wait untibebe can do my hair. But I can take you right away. Oh, child, I'm in no hurry. Mmm mmm mmm aw no no no I cut ir as good as bebe. What's she got that I don't? Ha ha ha! And then I said, la'tisha, you may think you're tinkerbell, but with your behind, you belong in heifer-heifer land! Ooh! Ha ha ha! I'm tellin' you, girl! Ha ha ha! Aughing] No offense, muriel, t I like hearing bebe's stories. Stories! Oh, I have stories. Um...ha ha! Uh...I-I-it seems there was .. irishman anan italian man and a polish fella, and, uh, uh... oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! They were all in hell-- mae they were bored to death. Oh, oh, wait, wait wait, wait! Let me try again. Uh...oh, did you hear about the patterson boy? Apparently he's in trouble with the law. He took a shiv to t short ribs, and now he's in the infirmary. Already heard! Is that all u got? Uh...gimme a moment. Bebe's ready for ya, florence. Thank god! Wait! Wait, mrs. Avery, please don't go! S. Avery: You ain't got nothin' to say! Thurgood only has one testicle! Tell me somethin' good whoa, baby, baby, baby oh, god. Wh did I say? Hmm. Bebe, I tnk I'll have muriel do my hair today. So...was he born that way? Or was it tored off? Tell me, baby [Grunting] Hey, brother-in-law. How's hanging? [M snickering] What, the elevator? It's broken. Maybe the elevator is missing a nut. Hah hah hah hah! [Tittering] Hey, what are you guys talkin' about? Oh, nothing in... testicular. [Chortling] Whoo! After anher half hour of their torture, I finally figured out wh they was talkin' about! U told them about the time I played chicken with lawn darts? How could you have been so careless, muriel? You don't understand! I was desperate! Nobody wanted to sit in my chair because they don't think I can dish the dirt like bebe ca but you revealed my most intimate, humiliating secret! M sorry, thurgood. I sold out your dignity for a $5.00 tip. Mur--$5.00? Hey, show 'em pictures of mwebbed feet. I know a place why was sanchez crying yesteay? Well, I probably shouldn't say. Then I probably shouldn't stay. He took the death of senor wences very hard. Thgood told me that he has a shrine built to him in his closet! Why, that little freak! Whatlse ya got? I just hea that jackie and carl are splitting up. Oh! You did? From where? I didn't hear that. He found out she was gettin' some on the side! Ooh, come to the hoycomb hideout. Get some sugar smacks! Ooh! Do we kno with who? Well, my guess is-- there's no need to guess. Let's just say that when the cable man stops by it's a whole afternoon of animal pnet! Whoo! Whoo! Wild discovery! Whoo whowhoo! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Dish the dt! Yeah, muriel. Dish the dirt. You know how it is with us girls... sometis we gotta get a little sumthin' sumthin' on the side! Girl, what you lkin' about? Everybodknows you get nuthin' nuthin' on the lop-side! That's not very nice. If you can't stand the heat, take the hot comb outta your kitchen! Ooh!Ah hah hah! Bebe, you better stop! Hah hah hah! No I'm goin' upstairs to my asian sensation! Give my gards to sad sack! Don't you listen to her, muriel. Ha ha ha... sad sack wait'll I tell the fellas. Mph! If jimmy's such a sensation, why did she sleep with a male exoticancer the night before thr wedding?! She didn't! Oh! ...Well, tarnell, actually, that's a bit of a family secret. Really, you shouldn't tell anyone. Please don't tell anyone. Please. Trust tarnell. He won't tell. Mrs. Avery! Wait up! I told you that in confidenc just like bebe told it to me. E who believes crest multicare whitening really works ? They do, of course. All the protection of crest multicare... will also help whiten with every brushing. Crest multicare whitening. Take your healthy smile all the way to bright. Don't let your teeth be left in the dark. There's a toothpaste that fights cavities, dingy tartar buildup, freshens breath with every brushing... and it's so complete it whitens too. Crest multicare whitening. Now that is a bright idea. 1] Watch out, miel! Hmm? I n't believe it... my own sister going around spreading vicioutruths about me! I'm sorry, be. It just slipped! Wh gives you the right to just-- just-- just get in othe people's business? Bebe, I'm sorry! I--I--I was just tryinto... keep up! You're pathetic! Yo too, obi one cajone. Yeah, right back at ya, princess lay-all! Hmmph! Muriel, could you hand me the little scisrs, please? [Shrieki sob] All right, the big scissors, then! Uh, garcelle, would you hand me those scissors, please? I'd ask muriel, if I wasn't afraid she'd stab me in the back! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Why don't yojust take my scissors like you take everything else that's mine? Ooh! H! Ooh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! See? There its! Let's get somethin' stight! The only reason you t any customers at all is because of me! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! The only reason you got customers is that people know if you'rworkin' on their hair, you can't be workin' on the man! Ooh! [Gasp] Yeah! [Hooting and commotion] Wherdo you think you're going? Sit your ass down! This shop was my eam. But you had to go and butt in, just like always. Aw, you trippin', girl! Oh, yeah? How 'bout the time worked real hard to make the cheeeading squad, then you welched in and--and shook your pompoms and got the spot? You justouldn't open your legs wide enough for the splits! Most 14-year-old girls couldn't! But the worst time... the worst time was in high school when you stole my bfriend! Who you talkin' about? Lester the loser? Girl, I did you a favor! He was two-timin' you! He was? With who? With me! Ooh...oh. Ooh! Ooh! [Gasps] You stained my pleather! You are not pullin' off your rings! Oh, yes, I am! I'm not gettin' any conditioner on 'em! How's th for a hot oil treatment?! Ha ha ha--ooh! What?! Ah! [Whimpers] Ah! Oh! Haah! Oh! Aah! Oh! Ah! Oh! Ah! Oh! Ah! Oh! Ah! Bo: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Aah! Aah! Oh! Aah! Aah! Supe super! Over here! What the hell was that noise? Please, god, tell me our wives weren't in there! Can I tell him? Can I tell him? They were in there! Not my bebe! She's too fine to die! I don't understand how this coulda happened! I used 3 layers of scotch tape on that last suppo beam! Muriel! Be! Holler if you hear me! We have to dig 'em out! Somebody give me aand! Muriel: Bebe! [Cough cgh] Are you ok? Uh...I think I broke my leg! My foot is in my face! That's my foot. Well, get your ft outta my face. Aah! Aah! Boy. I--I sure made a mess of things. Don't worry about the beauty shop, bebe. We can always build another one. Uh-uh. Not just that. I'm talkin' about, you know... everything. Mmm... bebe, I'm sorry about all those things I said. You're my sister, and I love you. Yeah. I, uh... look, um... muriel, the thing about lester... I just had to have him. E, he wasn't like any other boy I dated. He was young. He was handsome. He was-- mine. Oh, my god. You're right. I only took him 'cause hwas yours. You know why? Because you hate me? No. It's because I envied you. Envied m I thought you alys said I was boring. Yeah, you were, kinda. Yh, yeah. But everybody admired you. U remembered birthdays and stupid stuff like that. You was so smart and you got to ride that bus and be the only black girl in that all-white scho. That wasn't exactly a walk in e park. You got to meet the governor. He was blockin' the school door. We got a problem here, thurgood. This reinforced steel beam is blockin' the way. Reinforced steel beam? I thought I got rid of all tse to put in the track lights! Uh, thurgood, you might not wanna speak anymore witht an attorney present. Have to do something, or our women will die! Suddenly the dead wife jokes en't so funny, are they? At we need is something that could eat through steel! I'm talkin' about the most corrosive subance on the face of the earth-- hair relaxer! Hey! Careful how you handle tha you could kill us all! Stand back, everybody! Do not look dictly into the jar! Activator: Activate! Actually, bebe, metimes I wish I was more like you... outgoing and f! You always pushed me to take chances and try new things. Moly because you took my old things. The point is, I adred you because you were everything I wn'T. Yeah. At least you don't have to look bk on a whole lifetime of stupid mistakes. I mean, you know it's embarrassing for anyone to have been married 3 times! Or 5 tim, like you. Mm-hmm. You been married only once, muriel. And you made iwork. No sometimes I wish I had what you have! [Giggles] What you laughin' at, girl?! Ha ha ha! You're jealous of me becae I got thurgood? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah, that-- that is funny, ain't it? Oh! [Distant laughter] I can hear 'em. Muste gettin' close. Nobody over here! Found--f-found 'em! Huh? Oh! Muriel! Hey! Whoo! This guy? Mm-hmm. Uh-huh! This guy? This guy? Uh-huh! This guy? Hey, wait a minute, now. I wasn't that desperate. All right, wl... maybe I... ok. That takes care of the teachers. Let's go to the students. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm!