Captions paid for by
warner bros. Inc.
Once upon a timein the projects... pjs, projects 
 low rent, high rise,y'all 
 pjs, projects  ooh, yeah 
 projects 
 living in the pjs 
 holdingdown a cardboard condo 
 homeboyin a homemade bungalow 
 in the middleof the end 
 of a dead-endone-way street 
 da da da da la la la 
 living in the pjs 
 ohh 
 pjs 
ahh.
My one place of refuge.
Female voice: Request
facial identification.
Welcome, thurgood.
And hello to you,
halle 9000.
What's your pleasure
today,
a nice cold 40?
Hmm. I'll take
a domestic milwaukee.
Excellent choice.
And now something
for your reading pleasure.
I'm not in the mood
for reading.
I just want
to take a load off.
As you wish.
[ Slow music playing ]
Thank you, baby.
[ Purrs ]
Muriel: Goody,
are you down there?
Ut! Player hater alert!
Shut down! Shut down!
[ Klaxon sounds ]
There you are.
Ooh, I don't know why
you're always in here.
It's so dank and dingy.
We ought to do something
with this place --
maybe fix it up as a rec room
for the whole building.
[ Meows ]
What? A rec room
would wreck this room,
and fixing up a rec room
could cost a lot of money!
I barely have enough
to maintain
my computerized beer cellar.
Your what?
Did I saycomputerized beer cellar?
I meant my pants.
I can see you wantto get back
to reading your magazines.
I just thoughtyou'd want to see
this letter from H.U.D.
Let's see.
"T. Stubbs,you're already a winner.
"Report to H.U.D.Tomorrow at 9:00 A.M.
"And collect oneof the following prizes --
"a 48-foot yacht,season tickets to hockey,
or three scratch-and-winlotto tickets."
Lottery tickets!
Thank god I didn't trimmy lucky scratching nail.
What the --
oh, no!
Y'all are not gettinga share of my lotto millions!
Step off,super-fool!
Why would weneed your millions
when we're goingto get our own?
Hello, residentsof hilton-jacobs!
I representlitvack industries,
and we've calledyou fine people here
to offer you the adventureof a lifetime!
Ooh! We going to goclubbing with puffy?
Not quite. You're goingto live outdoors
without the luxuriesof your homes
for 40 days.
40 days? That'salmost 50 days!
You'll camp in your courtyardlike castaways,
and competeagainst each other
until there isonly one survivor.
Now show themwhat they won't have.
You won't haveelectricity,
but wait!There's less!
Say goodbyeto running water,
and as for thesehair-care products,
well, my friends,
you are ass-out!
So, what's in itfor us?
I'm glad you asked.
Our contestwill be televised
on a nationalcable television network
with over[ Cough-mumbles ] Viewers,
and the eventual winnerwill receive...
ha! Here we go.Lotto tickets.
Better! A grand prizeof four...
hundred...
dollars!
All: Ooh!
Aah!
Goody, $400!
That's enoughto take care of that thing,
that thing we talkedabout last night.
I can't believe it,muriel.
You're going to getbreast pigmentation,
and it'snot even kwanzaa yet.
No, thurgood, the rec roomfor the children.
Oh, I thought it mightbe a surprise.
A rec room!
Super's going to get usa rec room!
[ Grumbles ]
Okay, mister,we'll play.
We'll follow your rules,
and we will outwit,outplay,
and outlast each other
until only the best of the bestis left standing.
I've only gotone question --
I can cheat, right?
Walter: Two weeks ago,
litvack industriessent 11 residents
of a government-subsidizedhousing project
on the adventureof a lifetime.
They leave behind their homes
and all contactwith the outside world.
Their goal is to competeagainst each other
and becomethe "soul" survivor.
[ "Survivor" music playing ]
...Is brought to you by...
whether it's tobacco,toxic chemicals,
or internet porn,
we'll be there to giveamerica what it wants,
when they want it.
The tenants were dividedinto two separate tribes --
one ledby muriel stubbs,
the other headedby her husband thurgood.
Muriel: We decidedto name our tribe
the sun tribe
since the sun gives us
warmth, strength...
all: And life!
Yes. Ha ha ha.
I named my tribe
sanford,
after fred G. Sanford,
a great entrepreneur,
faithful husband,
devoted father,
and staunch enemy of rollo.
Who better
to inspire my tribe?
Juicy, get back to work,you big dummy!
I'm nude much of the time
in my house.
Just feels natural.
It doesn't looknatural.
Come on, super.
It's been two hours.
Where we goingto sleep tonight?
What we going to eat?
I don't know. I don't know!I don't know!
Everybody stop lookingat me. I'm no good at this.
I'm a manof ease and comfort.
My idea of roughing it is
sitting on the toiletwithout a magazine.
Ha! I knowwho I'm voting off.
Mm, people, please.
The hood provides uswith all we need to survive.
Refrigerator boxeson high ground
will keep us dry and allow usto repel any invasions.
And when it comes to food,
free-range,organically grown meat is
everywhere you look.
[ Kisses rat ]
Smokey, I appoint youspecial assistant
to the tribe leader.
You're good at this game.
Thanks, super. What game?
Welcome, sanford
and sun tribes,
to your first reward challenge.
In front of each oneof you is
a plate of nasty-ass sushi,oysters on the half shell,
and some shiitake mushrooms.
Whoo, boy, just smelling thisis likely to make me hurl,
and y'all have to eat it.
I ain't eatingthis shiitake.
Why can't wejust eat bugs?
Now, the first teamto clean their plates
will be allowed one hourin the building
to do whatever they want,
plus you get to chow downon a home-cooked meal
of peach cobblerand grape kool-aid.
Cobbler and kool-aidin my boiler room?
Ready...and go!
Come on, thurgood,
you'd do it if you lovedyour boiler room.
Walter:And the sun tribe wins!
[ Cheering ]
What? I had a big lunch.
Muriel: And we'll puta bumper pool table here,
and some bean bags, and maybea little tv over there.
If we all stick together,
I knowwe can make this happen.
Oh, no, my boiler room.
It's like muriel's gotan alliance of people
behind this rec room thing.
Well, two can playat that game.
I'll get my own alliance.
And the best part is,she'll never see it coming.
I will crush you, muriel.Do you hear me?
I...will...crush...you!
What are you yelling about,thurgood?
Ooh, got to go.
Yo, man, do you even know
where we're going ?
Turn the radio down.
I can't see !
Wait a minute !
You were supposed to turn right.
What we need
is some directions !
- Climb up...
- yeah, baby !
And I'll give you
directions.
So, where's the party ?
A 50-foot woman
who gives you directions ?
When you're lost,
just dial down the center.
You save big bucks
on every call.
I think you wanna go this way.
You think she got
a boyfriend ?
When was the last time
you saw a 50-foot brother ?
Use:
Thurgood: Muriel's rec room
alliance is an evil thing
which must be stopped.
I need to start
rounding up some votes,
get some friends on my side.
That water lookspretty heavy.
Let me lighten the loadfor you.
Ahh. See that, juicy?I'm always here for you.
Who came runningwhen you got stuck
in that slurpee machine?
The paramedics.
Yeah, but who called them?
And now I need youto be here for me.
Here's the plan.
Walter: Every third night,
after competingin a survival challenge,
the losing tribe would hike12 flights of stairs
to the rooftop to take partin tribal smackdown,
where they vote oneof their own
out of the projects.
I'm voting for bebe,
because, well, you gotto pick somebody,
and I do hate her.
I'm voting for bebe
because me and the superhave a secret alliance.
The tribe has spoken.
Bebe. Bring meyour ceremonial 40.
I didn't want to hangwith you trifling fools nohow!
[ Explodes ]
Haiti lady. You know,you got to pick somebody,
and I do hate her.
Go, alliance! Get busy!It's your birthday!
Haiti lady.
[ Thunder claps ]
Walter: On the third week,
the remaining members
of the sanford and sun tribes
merged into one.
Muriel!
Hello, thurgood.
[ Kisses ]I'm just so happy
that after all this struggleand division,
we can finally uniteas one tribe,
with one goal.
Uh, right. Right!And the goal is...
why, the rec roomfor the children, of course.
Of course. This game isall about the children.
This isn'tabout secret alliances,
or dirty,backhanded alliances,
or even sneaky,brilliant alliances
to undo the plansof others.
It's 2:00. Time for oursecret alliance meeting.
Alliance? Are you planningsomething, thurgood?
Muriel,I'm surprised at you.
How could you even suspectsuch a thing?
This is your husband,thurgood O. Stubbs,
and the "o" standsfor honesty.
I would never do youthat way, baby.
Oh, goody.
Uicy-jay! On't ever talkabout the alliance
in frontof other people-day!
So, muriel has her alliance,and we have ours.
We got to get more votesfor our alliance,
and then we can kick murielto the curb
faster than a black familyat denny'S.
But if we votemrs. Stubbs off,
who's going to cook,get fresh water,
and remind meto take my medicine?
I ain't had the heartto tell you, juicy --
we lost your medicine.
For the last five dayswe been giving you tic-tacs.
[ Hyperventilates ]
Super,you alliance scheme is
sneaky, dishonest,and revolting --
finally you're talkingmy language. Count me in.
Ow!
Oh, sorry, I steppedon your foot.
That ain't my foot.
Ooh, I wonderedwhy you only had one toe.
Mnh-mnh.
Uhh!
And the winner of this racewill get this --
immunity from prosecution,
which meansyou can't be voted out,
even by a juryin santa monica.
Thurgood: [ Thinking ]If muriel wins immunity,
I can't vote her off.
I've got to finishbefore muriel.
Well, that's never beena problem before.
Why? Why?
Quit your crying,nancy boy.
Ugh, I think I pulleda hamstring. Ohh, ham...
walter: Thurgood and murielare neck and neck
as they headfor the street luge.
Aah!
Walter: Now our contestantsmust select a television
from the inventoryof local entrepreneur tarnell.
Hey, this is my tv,
and there's the little onefrom our bedroom!
No, no, found themon the back of a truck.
Here, brother,let me help you.
Oh, no.
You know, muriel,I can't wait until tomorrow.
Why's that?
Because I love you moreevery day.
Oh, goody.That's beautiful.
What do you saywe put down these tvs
and walk to that finish linehand in hand,
like man and wife?
We'll share that immunity.
Oh, well,that sounds perfect.
Ha ha ha!
The sad thing is
she's the brainsin the relationship.
Hee hee hee! Ooh.
So, thurgood, rumor has ityou set up an alliance.
To that questionI plead the 5th dimension.
"Muriel."
Which oneof you heartless backstabbers
voted off my wife muriel?
"My wife muriel."
"Send pudding"?
You were supposedto vote for muriel.
I voted my conscience,
and my conscience wantspudding.
"Thurgood."
"Muriel." "Thurgood."
Well, that makes threefor thurgood,
three for muriel.
One last vote...
"muriel"?
Oh, no! Not my muriel,please! Take me instead.
That can't happen, right?
Muriel,the tribe has spoken.
[ Explodes ]
My name is alberto
and my anti-drug is music.
 Voice)welcome, you've got mail.
Aol email.
 Grab some movies,
 some tunes.
 Instant messages.
(Girl)
all my buddies
are on it.
Aol gives me power
at my fingertips.
Aol is where it's at.
 Goodbye.
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walter: With muriel stubbs gone,
her rec room alliance
quickly began to unravel.
Ugh!
Aah!
The tribe has spoken --"sanchez." Finally.
Walter: As time wore on,morale got lower.
Patience wore thin,and nerves were frayed.
Avery, I thought I told youto guard the water.
Sorry, I forgot.
Ooh!
Stay away from the water!
[ Giggling ]
Oh, great.
Now juicy's formingan alliance with sharique.
I wanted to form an alliance,
but she says she got hurt
too bad in her last alliance,
and she needs timeto get over it, you know?
I got to see her bra strap.Ha ha ha.
Thurgood: Well,
chunky and grumpy
can no longer be trusted.
It's a sad day
when secret alliances
shamefully forged in darkness
are not respected.
I refuse to be ignored
like danny gloverhailing a cab.
I got to startgetting me some immunity.
Hey! Open up!
Ready?
Walter: "Sharique."
Whose picture'son a food stamp?
I don't know.
Mariah carey.White or black?
I don't know.
Namea spike lee blockbuster.
I don't know!
All right.That was a trick question.
Ohh.
Whoa!
Aah!
Ooh, yeah,I'm the next contestant
on "the price is right."
This is our last
immunity challenge.
Each of you must keep
at least one hand on babs
at all times.
If you let go of her,even for a second, you lose.
The winner will decide
which of the other twomust leave.
Good luck.
Hungry. Must eat.
Dang!
All right, avery.
It's you and me.
I want you to know
I'm never letting go
of this crackhead.
The only way you'll win is
if you prymy cold, dead hand off her.
All you had to dowas ask, sucka.
[ Cocks rifle ]
She took her hand off.She took her hand --
ugh...off. I win.
[ Explosion ]
Juicy: I'm just glad
that whichever one of us wins,
we're both going to usethe money
to put in the new rec room.
Ha ha ha!
What's so funny?
What? Oh, uh, just thinkingabout cedric the entertainer.
"White people say, 'hello,'black people say, 'whassuuup!'"
Hee hee hee.
Yeah, that's funny.
Walter: Now you've gotone last challenge --
survivethe other contestants.
They will be votingfor the person
they feel should winthe money.
The jury will have a chanceto ask you one question
or make a statement.
After that, you will havethe chance
to pay offthe arresting officer,
resulting in the lossof all evi--
oops. Ha ha. Wrong card.
Uh, you'll getto say your piece.
Muriel,you wanted to go first.
My question isfor thurgood.
Is there anythingyou regret
about how you played
the game?No.
There isn't anythingyou would do differently?
No.
Isn't there someone you wouldlike to apologize to?
Apologize to.Oh, muriel, you're right.
I have wronged the one personin this world
who has never donea thing to hurt me.
Cedric the entertainer.I'm sorry.
I unintentionallydissed you earlier,
and I apologizefrom the bottom of my heart.
Oh!
Okay. Guess my weight.
The closest guess will getmy vote. Super?
I don't know. 140?
[ Cries ]
Well, I just havea statement.
From the beginningI watched you walk around
trying to beeverybody's friend,
actinglike you were innocent.
It just makes me sick!
If you were lyingon the side of the road,
dying of thirst,
I wouldn't stopto give you a drink.
I would pull outmy shotgun...
and then I would makea necklace
with your ears and toes.
And then, after the ratshad picked your bones clean,
and the flies had laid eggsin your eyes...
and that'swhat I think about you,
calvin banks.
Mrs. Avery,it's me, juicy.
Oh, hi, juicy, baby,how are you, darling?
We've heardfrom those voted out.
Now it's your turn, fellas.
Tell them why it should beyou who wins the loot.
I'd like to winso we can put in a rec room,
because we deservea safe place
to keep us off the streets.
We are the children,we are the future,
and we could soar like eagles
if grown-ups couldonly learn to understand us.
Well, that was touching,
but if tv has taughtme anything,
it's that you must earnyour enemy's trust
in order to get overon him.
Just like the pilgrims didto the indians,
and diana rossto the supremes.
So I say to you,if anyone deserves the money
it is I, the manwho played the game
with his mind, heart,and soul.
Oh, and since I'myou're super,
if you don't vote for me,I'll have your butts evicted
n-double-a-s-a-P.
[ Gasp ]
Thank you,and peace out.
Well, let's do this."Thurgood." "Juicy."
"Filthy super." "Thurgood.""Juicy." "Juicy."
And nowfor the final vote
which will determinethe winner
of $400 and a brand-newpontiac aztek key chain...
"thurgood."
Congratulations, thurgood,you are the "soul" survivor!
I did it! I won!I cheated fair and square.
Now I get to keepmy boiler room,
and the $400 is all mine.
Well, T., Don't forget
the government's goingto take its share.
Walter, please. I haven'tpaid taxes in 20 years.
They haven't caught me so far,
and I see no reasonwhy they would catch me now.
They screwed me overin the editing.
I'm really notthat bad a guy.
Well, 15 days down,15 days to go.
Aw, it'll go by fast.
And I still can't figure outwho ratted me out to the irs.
They haven't caught me so far,and I see no reason
why they would catchme now.
I don't see any reasoneither, goody.
Who wants to playbumper pool?
Juicy: I'll play...
soon as I finish eatingmy pudding. Ha ha ha ha!
[Music plays]
 Oh, lucy, ruby, maggie,
phoebe, jane 
 all the little ladies
driving me insane 
 got me  a leash,
marylou and elaine 
 pulling me around
like a ball and chain 
 ah-oo